To Understand Love
by MDLuffy
Summary: <html><head></head>Indefinite hiatus. But I will rewrite this story.    Post-Advent Children: They were trying their best to set things back to normal. Nibelheim, Sector 7, Aerith... Until a new danger lurks in the undercurrents of this mad, mad world.</html>
1. Chapter 1 Him and Her

Chapter 1, Him and Her

_The moon is by herself again._

_The surroundings seem to shrill in coldness. Did she always lived in this kind of environment? Its all… my fault isn't it…_

He heaved a deep sigh, and let his eyelid drop in weary.

_I won't leave again… _

The door creaked open slightly, and he heard footsteps approaching. Too tired to look around, he stayed in position, breathes in lightly, and slowly drifts off to sleep.

"_Cloud…"_ a soft voice called. He loved that voice, peaceful, gentle yet clear and confident. The voice only made him drift off more…

She laid her hands softly on his cheek, and could feel his warm breath hit her wrists_. Just like a child, _she thought. _Just like that… simply and peacefully… just how did he manage to occupy my entire world?_

"Cloud" the voice called again. For a while, there was silence, and he drifts off again… until he could feel soft, small, cool skin brush against his cheeks. Smoothly, it ran from his cheeks to his jaw line, contouring his face.

His eyes dart open, and he could feel soft silky hair on his neck.

A lock of her hair lain itself on his chin.

Dark, illuminated by the moonlight.

Her breath hits the back of his neck. For once, he was glad that she did not catch him opening his eyes. Gently, he shuts them again.

She was kneeling by his bed, right hand on his cheek, his back facing her. She pressed her face against the back of his neck.

He was lost in her scent. She smelt like that fruit they ate together the day before he left to live in the church. Yes that fruit. He didn't remember the name of the fruit, but the fruit too, smelt sweet, tastes sweet, and lingered in his heart.

Slowly, her lips open and mouthed a string of soft melodious words.

"Cloud, did you stay… because of guilt?" he could feel her eye lashes brush against his neck as she continued, "Maybe for Marlene and Denzel…"

Carefully, she lifts her hands from his cheek and helped herself up, carefully, trying not to wake up the awaken.

Turning around, she said the last three words.

"What about… me…?"

The door creaked open softly, and closed.

As she leaned on the closed door,

As he turned towards the closed door,

She thought,

He thought,

"_his scent, was cold and lonely."_

"_her scent, was cold and lonely."_

She walked into her room and laid on the bed. Her mind fluttered onto him again. His words back then, she could remember them so clearly. His words when things were still good, when they first lived together…

"_If you've forgotten the way you were then, I'd be there to remind you."_

_I'd be there to remind you…_

_I'd be there to remind you…_

_I'd be there…_

With that, she falls into slumber with his words by her ears.

_Blackness_

"_If only I could save her."_

"_If only I could save her."_

"_If only I could save her."_

"_Why am I so weak!"_

"_Why am I so weak!"_

"_WHY AM I SO WEAK!" _

_Blackness_

_Tifa… wouldn't wake up._

_Its been a day._

_Tifa… still wouldn't wake up._

_Its been 3 days._

_Tifa… please… wake up…_

_Its almost a week._

_WHY AM I SO WEAK!_

_Sephiroth. SOLDIER. If I were a SOLDIER._

_If I wasn't so weak…_

_Maybe… Maybe Tifa would notice me._

_I'll do whatever it takes. SOLDIER, Shinra, Whatever._

_Tifa…_

_Blackness_

"_So how does it feel to be back in your hometown?"_

_Sephiroth, Zack._

_Nibelheim._

_Im still not a SOLDIER. I can't let Tifa see me like this._

_Not in such a pathetic state…_

_Blackness_

_Fire. Fire burning. Fire, people, houses, everything is burning._

_Tifa… TIFA!_

_Blackness_

"_Tifa…" Blood was gushing from the wound on her chest, Sephiroth had done it… "Tifa…"_

_I could feel her pulse in my arms. Slowly, I stroked her cheek. She is still living…_

"_Cloud! Finish Sephiroth off!"_

His eyes flicked open. Wide. Panting on his bed, he sits up, covering his forehead with his palm. Cold sweat found its way down his cheeks. His lips were dry. Slowly, he brings himself back to reality. He gets off the bed hastily, walks into the bathroom and cleanses himself.

_Have I… Became stronger? Strong enough to protect… her?_

He walked down the stairs to the bar, where Tifa was busy cleaning up, and where breakfast was set. The clock strikes 7.

"Tifa…"

"Hey cloud, morning"

"morning."

He stood rooted, his eyes searching hers. Answers, that they were both searching, remain unseen.

"Nibelheim" He whispered

"sorry?"

"We need answers. About the lives we lost"

She looked at him, puzzled.

"Lets go back to Nibelheim. Spare a day or two for me. Lets look for the lives we both lost."

She didn't quite get what Cloud was going at, but she smiled. It was a good sign. For the determination in his eyes shone like the stars last night. Confident and clear.

"Sure."

She flashed him the usual smile. Ever so reassuringly gentle. To him, it was the most precious thing on earth, especially after that dream. _"protect, that smile…"_

Tifa rinsed the cloth that she has just used to wipe the grease off her bar after the last customer. The clock strikes 9pm. She could hear Marlene and Denzel playing upstairs. Sounds like hide-and-seek. Tifa could feel her chest tighten.

She walked up the stairs and saw Denzel looking around for Marlene.

"Games over, dears. Now, gather for cookies."

"Yaaaay! Cookies!" Marlene appeared, cheering.  
>"Where did you come from? I searched everywhere!"<p>

Marlene giggled and flashed her tongue at Denzel.

The clock strikes 9.30 pm and Tifa could see the question coming.

"Hey, Tifa… Why isn't Cloud home yet?"

Tifa looked over at the little girl, and softly tugged on her braid.

"Now, if you go to bed, you would see him in the morning."

"No!" Marlene stood up, "I want to see that Cloud's home!"

Tifa smiled, there was no way she could persuade Marlene.

"Alright, then lets wait for him here."

Denzel nodded, "yeah… Cloud would be home right? For sure?"

_For sure…? Tifa didn't know. Maybe… Maybe not. But probably._

"Yes he will, Denzel. He promised so."

The clock strikes Eleven. The children are now laying on Tifa's lap, sound asleep. Tifa could feel her eyes dry. She hugged Marlene and placed her onto her bed upstairs, then Denzel. Eleven thirty. Cloud still isn't home.

Tifa walked to the kitchen and brought out the Chicken pie she had baked earlier that evening. She laid it on the bar counter.

The clock strikes twelve and a faint sound of a bike approaching could be heard in Seventh Heaven.

Cloud walked silently into Seventh Heaven, took out his set of keys but the door was left unlocked. He walked in and locked the door. The lights were on.

He walked towards the bar and smiled at a serving of pie left on the counter. Then frowned at the half eaten serving left beside the now-asleep Tifa.

Her silent breathing seemed to release him from all the weariness of his day.

Slowly and gently, he positioned her in his arms and lifted her up. He long eyelashes flickered, revealing her chestnut-coloured eyes. He marveled at her beauty, her long lashes casted a mysterious shadow on her irises, and her sleepy eyes had a watery edge, sparkling in the dark.

"Cloud, you're back." She nodded and closed her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm back."

She shifted comfortably in his arms, before her cheeks flared up.

"Oh my god, I fell asleep. I'm sorry, you can let me down now."

"Its alright, I'll carry you to your bed. Your legs are probably wobbly."

He could feel her silky hair brush against his neck, his right shoulder, his chest. When he look down, he could see her pinked cheeks laying perfectly below her large eyes as her long lashes now cast a shadow on her cheeks.

Her arm laid over his right shoulder to support herself, the other on her thighs. Her lead leaned against his chest, her breathing rapid, so is his. His cheeks burnt as he realized that hisarms carried her by her thigh and her back.

His heart pounded louder and louder as she parted her pink, luscious lips to make a soft, trembling and gentle sound. He enjoyed every note of this music piece. Her eyes fluttering about, her long lashes seem to dance in the music.

"Cloud?"

…

"Cloud?"

He immediately snapped out of it and looked at her. Looked at her beautiful and….

"Cloud?"

"Yes, Tifa? I heard you."  
>"I said… I want to spend some time with you before going to bed…"<p>

Her cheeks turned into a deep red, and so did his.

"Oh. Sure."

He set her down, and he could feel her soft body rub softly against his in the process.

She walked towards the bar counter, and he followed behind. They sat down beside each other.

"Pie for you?"

"Yeah"

Tifa pushed his portion of the pie to him and smiled.

They ate in silence, Cloud devoured his meal hungrily as Tifa chucked softly. Blushing, Cloud slowed down his pace.

"No lunch today?"

"No… The recipient was far, didn't get to buy lunch." He looked down, like a child getting caught after misbehaving.

She chuckled, louder.

"Tomorrow will you have lunch?" Tifa said teasingly.

Cloud smiled and nodded.

"About Nibelheim," Cloud said after finishing his portion and getting another serving of the pie. "I've talked to Elmira. We can leave Denzel and Marlene in her care for a few days."

Tifa smiled. "Sure."

"I'll fetch them to Elmira tomorrow evening, then we leave the next morning."

"I've told them about it. They seem positive."

"Hmmm."

"Might be unusual, but I think I know why they agreed."

Cloud nods.

"Marlene and Denzel are at Elmira's. Asleep."

Tifa smiles. "I've packed up the necessities."

"We leave in the morning." Cloud nodded.

"…Hey, what exactly are we looking for? The lives… we've lost?"

"…"

"Cloud?"

"I promised to be his living legacy."

"…Zack."

"Yeah… But I got lost. I didn't know who I am. I… I…"

Cloud looked up at Tifa, then looked back down again.

"I was so weak. I wanted to… let you take notice of me… I wanted to join SOLDIER… But I was just so weak. Tifa, I'm not a SOLDIER, although we've eliminated Sephiroth, and I've become stronger, older. But am I really strong? I'm just weak…"

"_And shy, but adorable."_ Tifa thought.

"I thought I've grown stronger. I thought I could set up a family with you, be normal. But… I'm just so weak. So weak… nothing's ever changed. I'm still that weak Cloud that couldn't talk to you when we were young. That weak Cloud that dare not visit you when you were unconscious… That weak Cloud that dare not let you know he didn't make it to SOLDIER seven years ago…

Cloud sighed and continued,

"When I was down with Geostigma, I thought I didn't want to burden you. I should take care of myself. Tifa… you were always in the spotlight. Since young… you were always popular. Wherever you went, you were the spotlight.

"You… deserve better than to look after a sick childhood friend."

Tifa looked away.

"I'm glad I finally got some answers, Cloud. But… childhood friends…"

Cloud looked up, at Tifa. Her long eyelashes flutters softly, looking down, covering her slightly parted lids. Her copper coloured irises shimmers beneath.

Cloud waited for her to respond.

"Childhood friends, huh…but you were more, Cloud… much more…"

"No, Tifa. That's the answer I'm searching for. The answer to your feelings."

"Wh…what?" Tifa was totally confused.

"Tifa, you knew how I felt. You were there, at the lifestream."

"Y…yeah?"

"But you didn't know me when we were young. You never did. You were always with the trio. I was always desperate for you to notice me. But you never did, Tifa."

"I'm sorry…"

"No, don't be. Lets search for the answers. We've both forgotten our lives back then, Tifa. When I was living in my illusion, I could feel Zack's feelings. I thought they were mine, but no, I could feel Zack, or at least I imagined so. When we were in the lifestream, I was finally released from my illusion. But, I, too, was left confused. I've always had a feeling towards you… even during my illusion days. But… When I returned to myself, Everything just burst. It was overwhelming."

"_the feelings I had for you was overwhelming"_ He wanted to add.

"Tifa, we have questions unanswered."

Tifa looked at him, though confused, but nodded.

Cloud stopped, it was so long since he'd talked that much. He looked down at his second serving of the pie, and ate it.

"Tifa… I have questions unanswered. Will you answer them for me… In Nibelheim?"

Her arms wrapped around his waist, Her hair swaying in the wind and he could smell her. _"Just like the fruit"_ he thought.

"Cloud, I… I'm afraid of Nibelheim… There's nothing there for me anymore. I've lost everything there… My everything."

Cloud reached for her hand , grabbed her fingers tightly.

_You still have me._

Tifa smiled. As their bike pierced through the morning.

"Don't worry, I'm here." Cloud reached for Tifa as he got off the bike. He helped her down and they walked towards their hometown. Nibelheim.

Everything looked the same. Best way for Shinra to cover up the Nibelheim incident 7 years ago. But Shinra is non-existent now. The employed Shinra villagers are nowhere to be seen.

Nibelheim was empty.

"Cloud… So what exactly are we searching for?"

He stopped walking. His foot sinking deep into Nibelheim soil.

"You. We're searching for you. Your past."

Tifa looked at him, puzzled.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Ours, too."

Cloud held Tifa's hand and they walked into Tifa's house. Into her room.

"My room…?"

"Yeah. Where I only set foot in once."

She felt her heart sink, into the depths of regret.

She looked into his eyes, and for once, she hoped to change their past... somehow.

"Cloud, since we're here, let me make up to you."

"Huh?"

"Lets play!" She flashed him that mesmerising smile, her perfectly aligned teeth peering at him. "Lets play, for we never did when we were younger. Lets relive it, the times we had lost."

**Author's Notes:**

**I've been trying real hard to portray my Tifa and Cloud as close to reality while mixing in my expectation of how the story will turn out to be.**

**Many people find that Cloud is cold, but I beg to differ. He might seem that way in Advent Children or some other parts, but in scenes like (in ffvii) in the lifestream and when he confessed about him not being a SOLDIER, he was different. So obviously this complex character has got different phases or situations at which he will express himself differently.**

**Towards Tifa, Cloud is definitely deeply in love with her. Much of this chapter is to prove that. I tried to lay the pieces together, and I realize that perhaps it was Cloud's insecurity that binds him from expressing his feelings.**

**Tifa, many take it as a natural thing and obvious thing that she is in love with Cloud. But I had tried to find clues at which she started falling in love with Cloud, and none. He was transparent in her childhood until the period at which they made their childhood promise.**

**Then, did Tifa love Cloud like he does for her?**

**This is the question I'm trying to answer with this story.**

**To understand Love.**

**To experience Love.**

**Then, to love each other.**

**This is the first chapter. Some questions may surface while reading, for example, why did Cloud just suddenly want to return to Nibelheim, etc, why did Tifa's heart tighten when she heard Denzel and Marlene playing hide-and-seek.**

**Well I would try to answer all the questions you have, Review it and I'll read every one of it, and reply them here.**

**The part about Cloud's dream is taken from his past (FFVII Crisis Core/ FFVII game) In "On the way to a smile" Tifa had asked him if he loves her, and had awaken him, where she changes the topic. Here, the scene in Cloud's bedroom is actually a similar one.**

**Hide and seek is a game meant to be played by a group of people, usually more than two. The hide-and-seek here, is actually trying to suggest that after Cloud left, Tifa was going through a hard time and did not pay as much attention to the kids. The kids, being understanding, started to play games by themselves. Originally, the hide-and-seek should have included Tifa and/or Cloud, but now its just them. **


	2. Chapter 2 Nibelheim

He looked around, strangely, it seemed familiar to him. Did he-a stranger to this room, managed to breath in all the details and had efficiently carved it deep in his heart that one time he came in?

It was all about them isn't it, questions always remained unanswered, he had known what Tifa asked him that night, in his bedroom, _"Do you love me"_ in which he was awaken by, but she changed it immediately to _"Hey Cloud, do you love Marlene?"_

He hoped that what he said to her last night, was the answer for it. Not a mere fallacy, has she gotten the answer she seek?

But it was he, who has more questions unanswered. About her. He was afraid to break it out to her, for it seem to overlap with their happy days, for it might be the start of a awkward stay together for them.

Did Tifa love him?

When he was a child, nothing of that sort ever came across his mind, he and her lived parallel lives, she was popular, and always played with the same trio, in which kicked out many potential members like himself.

He was different, at least to himself, whom he hated so much for not able to make her turn her gaze at him, just once, once is enough. The reason he joined SOLDIER, the reason he started out the journey, met Zack, had the scars inflicted deep into his heart.

But he never blamed her. Not once. Not in eternity. Never.

But there were answers he seeked.

He was always self-conscious, he was always the one left behind. He was insecure.

He looked up to her, he loved her, he would do anything to protect that confidence and that smile, yes that smile.

But he had to tell her, for things will always remain the same if he had not.

"Cloud, its your turn." She looked up to him, her copper eyes laid its print deep in his heart.

"Tifa… Lets stop." He put down the dice in his hand onto the monopoly game sheet.

"Haha… sure, we should have outgrown this long ago."

"Its not that…" He took a deep breath, "I need to talk to you."

She shot him a puzzled look. The sound of his intensified breathing caught her attention. No, more like… Warned her of something.

"Tifa, remember what I told you yesterday night?"

"Mmhmm." She acknowledged his statement and started packing up the board game.

"My point was that," He took another deep breath. "I heard your question that night… the one before you asked me if I loved Marlene. I hope you got an idea of what my answer is from what I told you last night."

She blushed and smiled, with a tinge of playfulness, "Maybe?"

He felt his cheek burn up,_ "God I hope she won't want me to say THAT three words."_ He thought.

He cleared his throat and broke the brief silence, "Anyways, when I told you that I have some question unanswered, that is…"

"hmmm?"

"The same question you asked me that night." His breathing calmed down, and he looked into her eyes. Strangely composed, he continued, "Do you, love me?"

Her cheeks flared up and she thought, in that split second, her heart was going to explode into a million pieces.

"I… I uh.." She could not make out the words and embarrassment filled up her every cell.

"Tifa…" He put his right hand on her shoulder, "Maybe you could hear me out first?"

She nodded, heart pounding too fast to respond.

"I loved you, I love you, and I will live to continue loving you, Tifa. When we were young, I was the one chasing, then I was devastated when the adults wouldn't let me close by you due to the fall we had. But you never had any feelings for me. You never did know me. Until that night, at the well, where we made our promise. Tifa, why the sudden change?"

"Was it because I was leaving for SOLDIER? Did I finally got your attention? Or perhaps, it wasn't love?"

She stood, as though struck by a lightning flash. She couldn't say a word. Her childhood memories were foggy. She could only remember what she saw in his memory back then, and the promise. Others were fuzzy. Did she… really love him?

"Tifa… This is the reason why I wanted to come to Nibelheim. Where our memories were. Where the Cloud, and the Tifa, before our lives spiraled into those events, lived. The real us, the original us. Just us, our feelings bare of all disruptions."

His eyes widened as he noticed the shine in her eyes.

"Tifa…?" he softly held up her face, where he could see streams of translucent pearls licking her rosy cheeks. "Tifa… don't cry…" He had never seen her cry, not for a long, long time. He had no idea what to do. Not at all…

"Too much happened…" she paused, collecting herself. "Too much happened all at once back then. I don't know… I don't know how I had felt back then, about you, about everything."

"Its alright. Its alright." He whispered softly to her ears as he hugged her tight, her head laying softly on his chest.

The next morning, he found himself awaken on her bed. She-was nowhere to be seen.

"Tifa?" His echo filled the room. He walks downstairs, trying hard to convince himself that she will be there. Like every morning in 7th Heaven.

She wasn't.

She wasn't in the showers, or the living room, she wasn't in the house.

**Author's Notes:**

**Will upload Chapter 3 soon. Just wanted to seperate the parts to have more effect. And didn't want it as long as chapter one. Cheers.**


	3. Chapter 3 Her Confession

**Chapter 3 - Her Confession**

* * *

><p><em>"Cloud, morning!<em>

_Breakfast is on the dining table. Sorry, that was all I could get for today._

_I'm out for a little while. Do not worry, I have my gloves on. I will be right back."_

_"Gloves, huh."_ He thought, when he saw the note on her desk.

"She should be fine." He murmured.

He found himself sitting at the dining table, his right hand holding onto the sandwich, but he'd been stoning for some time. He didn't know what time she went out, but its been an hour since he's up.

Nine in the morning and he's already pacing about the house.

Ten, and he's by the only store open in Nibelheim now, The General Store. Walking around the empty village.

"Hey, you're Cloud, aren't you?" A tough build up man in his… thirties? Walked out from the General Store and greeted him, rather cordially. "How's Nibelheim for you after those years?"

Cloud shrugged and continued walking.

"Wow whoa woo," The general store guy walked up in front of Cloud, stopping him. "Hey there, we were having a conversation!"

Cloud looked up at him, slightly irritated.

"Hey whoa, you never did change!" the general store guy tilted his brows, "Its me, yo!"

Cloud let out a silent grunt and nodded.

"God, you don't remember!" The general store guy placed his index finger on his chest, and poked himself a few times. "ME! The General Store kid! Oh man! Its me! I used to hang out with Tifa when we were young?"

Cloud remembered but shot him a blank look,_ "One of that trio."_ He thought.

"Me? That guy that always poke fun at you and don't let you near Tifa? Yeah me! That child bully!"

Cloud continued that blank look, trying to test how far this guy would go.

"ME! Oh god, Me, that guy that didn't dare to follow Tifa all the way up Mount Nibel and then got incredibly irritated when you did, then didn't allow you to go near Tifa ever again? That guy that is always annoyingly close to Tifa and is so obviously crushing over her? That blasted kid from your childhood that used to give you hell!"

Cloud tilted his face. _"He really did go all the way to humiliate himself…"_ He thought. Amused. He had read the letter written by this punk once, in Tifa's room when the kid from the General Store had went to Midgar.

"Yeah. Ok." Cloud nodded.

"Finally!" That guy sighed. "So how'd it feel like to be home? And with the girl of every Nibelheim guy's dreams?"

"Mhmm."

"That isn't even an answer, you chocobo head." He rattled on, "And to think Tifa came all the way this morning to buy bread for your breakfast!"

"Tifa did?" Cloud asked, defeating his inner monster of not wanting to talk to this guy after hearing her name. "What time?"

"Yeah! She did! All because of you, doll face! Why did Tifa had to do something like that. Poor Tifa, if it was me, I'd make her breakfast, I'd run the hot water bath for her, I'd iron her clothes, I'd massage her feet, I'd carry her bag, Id-"

"Time," Cloud interrupted, "What time did she come by?"

"Five."

"Did you see her after?"

"I don't know, I kinda did but I got no idea whether it was her. I mean I missed her so much, and she'd grown so much… and so beautiful, when I saw her I was stunned. God, her voice and her-"

"Did you see her after?"

"Yeah."

"Which direction did she go?"

"There." The General store guy pointed.

Cloud nodded, and brisk walked away.

"I'm not so sure if it was her though!" That guy shouted, to the diminishing figure of Cloud.

_Five? That's so early. By the time she left it should be… six? Where could she go? Its been four and a half hours._

He walked in the direction guy-of-the-general-store pointed. And dread came over him.

Mount Nibel, he still remembers, vividly, how Tifa laid lifeless after she fell. Dread dawned on him.

He proceeded north, through the mountains, and up to Mt. Nibel. Just short of the suspended bridge.

Tifa was there, sitting down, staring at the clouds.

He walked up and sat by her.

"Tifa…"

He saw her jump a little, then looked to his side, smiling.

"Hi Cloud, sorry guess I was out for quite sometime… I was just thinking… about a lot of things." She reverted her glance back to the skies.

"…mhm."

"About me. About you. About Nibelheim. About mother. About everything."

"…"

"Wanna hear about it?" She didn't wait for his response and continued, "Well you gotta hear me out whether you want it or not."

"…" He nodded.

"I woke up from a dream this morning. A dream from my life back when we were young. Very young.

"You were there. For as long as I could remember, you were there. We were neighbours but we weren't really friends. Though I've always been curious about you, I didn't think it was a rush to befriend you. Since we were so closeby.

She looked at him for a moment, her eyes piercing through his soul, searching for something.

"Back then you had gray…. Grayish blue eyes. They were huge. Like this," she held up her left hand, her index finger meeting her thumb, forming an oval. "Yep, grayish blue, and they were piercingly… beautiful. But you were always cold. Whenever I looked at you, you'd look away in a frown, yet I see you from my window very often, looking at me. Your eyes clear, like crystals. Yet they dart away when my brown eyes meet them."

_Probably because I was nervous… and scared._ Cloud thought.

"I thought it was because I scare you," She chuckled, " But you were always there. We didn't talk, we didn't interact. But we were close. My window stared right into yours. We weren't friends, but I've known you ever since I was born. My neighbor. You were cute. Really cute." She chuckled again.

"But then, the day just came, the day my mom…left me." She paused, her eyes searching, for something beyond the clouds in the sky. "She was always there. I've known her since I was born. She was there, every day, every night. But one day I just woke up and she wasn't there anymore. I couldn't hear her, feel her, touch her, smell her… It was… so sudden."

"When I walked up here, this bridge, I thought for sure Mama would be on the other side." Tifa blushed slightly with the unintended choice of word. "But I lost my footing, and fell. When I fell, I saw you, you didn't fall, you jumped in after me. I remember that look on your face. For the first time, your grayish blue eyes stared right into mine. And I could hear you shout out my name. And, I actually felt comfort run through me."

"I didn't know why you were there. Maybe we really were close. Perhaps we know each other not as neighbors, but, something more.

"When I was unconscious, I saw many things. I saw mum flipping pancakes in the morning, telling me to stay away and accidentally tossing the pancake out of the window, and whispers 'woops' while smiling at me. I saw mom lying by my side at night, telling me Mt Nibel's legends. I saw mom and dad holding my hands when we were out to shop. And I saw you in your room, through my window, sitting on your bed, silent. After staring at you for a minute or so, you'd look up to me, your eyes blank, but I could see sadness.

"No… it wasn't sadness. It was… loneliness. Desperation. But at the same time, I could see a glimmer of hope, submerged deep within.

"The scenes kept replaying, mom's pancakes, legends, shopping, and your eyes. When I woke up,

"I didn't continue looking for mom. I tried, to be the usual me, trying to comfort dad. It was hard. But I realized that something remains unchanged. You were still there, at the other side of this window, looking at me. You didn't try to befriend me, but you continued to look at me every now and then. Then, I found myself looking back at you.

"At night, when I look into your room, you'd be there, sitting on your bed. Day by day, I got better. But you didn't. You got worse. You started to come home injured. Sometimes you'd hit your fists against the wall. But you do it discreetly. Trying not to let your mom notice. But I did. I didn't see you cry though. But the pressure on you somehow increased. Day by day. Slowly, you looked like you were about to break.

"No… you looked as if you were broken into more pieces than before."

She let out a sigh, not looking at him, and continued.

"You needed somebody didn't you." She stopped for a second, "I wanted to help, but the adults, somehow, hated you. So did my friends. I couldn't do anything. I know I should have, but… I didn't.

"Then there was this night. When you sat in your bed, looking at the ceiling. When I woke up, you were still looking at the ceiling. Then at night, over our dinner, dad and I did our usual conversation, and he said you were going to Midgar. To be a SOLDIER. Your mom was worried, stuff like that, but I only heard one thing. You are leaving.

"I don't know why… but even though I had never really talked to you… I felt this overwhelming sadness. Like my usual life was fading away. Like when mom left me… Sudden and… unchangeable. That night you turned in early.

"But I sat up thinking. Then the next morning, all the kids in town were talking about you. How you were going to leave Nibelheim and join SOLDIER, how a lot of people don't get into SOLDIER but died in battles as mere Shinra pawns, and how… well, a lot of things. I wasn't feeling too good about it.

"That night, I saw you waiting at my doorstep. Looking up to my room. I walked downstairs, slightly nervous and approached you. We had a, sort of, normal conversation, for the first time. You spoke straightforwardly, down to the point you were trying to make. You, will wait for me at the well, until I come." Her lips tilted slightly, upwards, into a smile.

"'Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. I want to at least experience that once.' Haha… What I actually wanted to say, was that I want to meet you again." She looked over to him, his now-bright blue eyes met hers.

"Hero or not. I just wanted, to see you again." She looked away, onto the earth they were sitting on.

"Maybe I messed up. I've always messed up. If I had approached you back then, maybe things would be different. Maybe you wouldn't have to go through so much.

"But Cloud, is that love? Is this love? I think it is. But you doubt yesterday made me question myself. is it Love? Or is it dependence and need? You know... I might be close to all our friends, but we both know that deep within, it was just us... all these while, just us. Maybe I was just afraid to lose someone important again... But one thing's for sure... You are the most important person to me."

Tifa stopped, and looked at him. She couldn't make out his expression.

He looked at her, and could not make out anything to say to her. Just reached his arm out and pull her into him. Into his embrace. It was enough. Knowing that he was worth something in her heart was enough. That was all he started the journey to achieve. A place in her heart. Even if it was just need, not love, someday, she will come to love him. He is sure of that. He will make it come true.

"We'll search for the answer together. We'll work hard together." He repeated the same words she had said to him before.

She closed her eyes, and was reminded of that night, under the highwind…

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><p><em><strong>Author's notes:<strong>_

_**Guys Im really tempted to write an explicit chapter about that highwind scene (AKA write in detail what steamy stuff they did) But is it possible to publish here? If possible, next chapter would have some lovey hotey stuff. Write in the reviews section what you think. Should I write the highwind scene?**_

_**P.S I hope I didn't sound like a pervert! :D**_

_**And I'll try to upload a few times per week... If possible. :) Stay tuned!**_

_**please, find any mistakes, tell me in the reviews**_


	4. Chapter 3 Special  FLASHBACK

Chapter 3 Special: FLASHBACK

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><p>"Hey Tifa… I… There are a lot of things I wanted to talk to you about. But now that we're together like this, I don't know what I really wanted to say… I guess nothing's changed at all… Kind of makes you want to laugh…"<p>

He stood with her, and a distance between that diminished with every word. He scanned through all his memories. Memories of them, memories, of - her. Memories that they had, lost, gained, or hid. And the memories they are about to create.

"Cloud… Words aren't the only thing that tell people what you're thinking…"

In that moment, he could feel his heart tremble… with excitement, glee, fear, anticipation, all the feelings he thought he had lost. It was just uncontrollable.

She blushed. Wondered if she had said the right thing. Wondered how he had taken her words as. Wondered if the words had dissipated the distance that was once between them? Wondered if the change was what she wanted.

Then she felt a spot on her body burn up. Where he touched. Just a simple touch on her shoulder, yet the feeling transmitted was far more than any interaction they had.

"Tifa…" She felt him place another hand on her other shoulder. Unknowingly, she had returned the act by turning around. Hey eyes met his for a second, but they both darted, at the same instant, away.

"Tifa…" She could hear him again. Oh how she love the sound of his voice, dancing with her name. His lips tracing her initial, down to the last vowel. And how he would just speak fo her name. One noun, definite, and uniquely her. Just her. World with just them two.

No words could describe how she had felt when he had pulled her into his arms.

His scent, or his fingers that ran through her hair… It was magic. Magic had worked itself into this cursed planet. Like a rose in a desert. The happiness bestowed, in a world like this.

All she needed was him.

"Cloud… remember the date we had?"

"Mmmm…" He nodded as he breathed in the scent of her hair… Gentle and sweet.

"I Lo..."

He pulled her up to him and lifted her chin. His mako eyes pierced through her, into her heart, into her soul, into her core.

_Words… don't matter now…_ She thought.

She leaned in closer to him, adjusted herself to be closer to him, her eyes staring into his, her palm pressed against his chest. She brings herself closer. Closer. Closer. Or maybe he did.

Then they kissed.

His heart pounded uncontrollably. Like a child eating his first candy. Curious, delicious and exciting. Yet like a traveler in the desert. When he found his oasis. The longing and thirst, all seemed worthwhile. Everything in life just pieced itself together. Like finding the one.

Her lips were soft, yet full, but smaller than his, a little. For it fits perfectly into his crease as they meander. Her lips taste like wild berries. Driving him insane. Warm, wet, soft, gentle and… they belonged to Tifa.

Their hearts beat in unison. Their fingers now intertwined, by their side.

He, does it softly, carefully. Especially the intervals of gentle licks he does on her lips. Or the little puffs of his breath on her cheek, her brow, her lips. Slowly, he separates her luscious lips, as they exchanged their inner feelings. He slides his tongue in, tracing all the curves of her lips, and her arms found their way around his neck.

All along, there had been walls, between them. Their past, or the world. But now, no AVALANCHE or SOLDIER mattered. Just them. Their lives. For just this moment, they live for themselves.

His hand inched from her back to her waist then down to her hips, thighs and lingers. She smells wonderful. Maybe it's a female thing. But it sure did make him a slave for it. And it hits him… Her soft sigh, ignited some kind of fire within him. Of which he had never known he had.

He unbuckles her suspenders from her belt.

Not knowing if it was the right move, he pulls away from the deep kisses and look at her. Her cheeks were flushed, cherry red, radiance of youth and passion. Her eyes were slightly damp, her breathing quick.

She was beautiful. She was the personification of temptation, beauty and love… all in one. All he want now, was to make her his. His, solely. His. His.

She blinked and looked down, slightly embarrassed. Her eyelashes fluttered, softly, along, dancing with the cold wind. Her fingers then reach up to tuck a lock of dark brown, silky hair behind her ear. _Her copper eyes, her flushed cheek, or her red lips. How perfectly brilliant. The planet's best creation,_ he thought.

He pulled her in, kissed her cheeks, her eyes, her nose, her brows, her chin, her forehead, her lips. After a minute of hot kisses, or so, he bit her lower lip softly. And licked on that same area. He could feel her breath heat up, she started to perspire. He was no better.

Then he made his way down from her lips to her chin, then her neck.

She threw her head back as his hand slid up her top, while the other stroking her hip, to the hollows of her waist, tracing her hip dimple.

"Tifa…" He murmured, while she caressed his chest, and his back. Beneath his top.

He continued to plant soft kisses on her neck, occasionally tracing the curves with his tongue, or a soft blow. Slowly, he trail a line of soft kisses back to her cheek, then to her ear, where he whispers her name softly, before tightening his grip on her.

Slowly, he pushes her down…

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Well guys review more. I love reading them.**

**Bloopers for the next chapter. You know. Everything I put in, in this story, all the little little hints...**

**Are foreshadows for big things coming. **

**GUESS.**

**XOXO**

**See you soon :)**


	5. Chapter 4 His Surfacing Desires

_SORRY for not updating for... A long while._

_Had stuff going on. I'll write at the back._

_Now, please enjoy while reading._

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><p>He held her tight in his arms. Words left him. Time passed. Since then, a lot of time had passed. Perhaps he had begun to separate, begun to believe that he is fine alone. But this embrace shattered his confidence, shattered his shield. Before her, he is bare. He had always been. All this while – he had undermined her presence. Just like that, she blew him away.<p>

Late noon, and the sun brimmed with passionate flames. On earth, it was just a dull heat.

"Johnny."

"Johnny?"

The General Store remained silent.

She walked deeper into the exhausted store. The torn edges of the wallpaper rustled as she passed by. There was no one. She walked towards the cashier, and left a note.

"Johnny,

Cloud and I are going back. It was nice meeting you here. See you back in Midgar, when you return.

Tifa."

She walked out into the streets, and walked back to her old home. The streets reeked of pain. A worn out village, with nothing left for the youth to exploit. Nothing left for this world now. Yet it works the other way round.

The door creaked open and his heart raced. It always happens when she enter.

"I've finished packing."

"Thank you." She knew that means her share too.

"We leave now?"

"…no. I don't think so. At least after dinner. Or tea. And you need rest."

"…"

"Are you going to take a nap?"

"Should I?"

"Yep."

"You?"

"I'll prepare dinner."

"You rest too."

"Well I have time for a short nap I guess."

He watched as she took off her leather black top, that she wore over her white sleeveless shirt, and her gloves. He did the same. Strangely, his heart seems to have mutated overnight. It would not stop beating.

Since the embrace in Mount Nibel, he his vision had been strangely drawn to her lips. He liked how her cupid bow arched upwards, how her shapy upper lips complimented her gorgeously plump lower lips, how light reflected off her smooth lips, how beautiful she is. He would not try to kiss her though. For they had lost the deep connection they once had.

No. He had given up that connection the night he left her. When he chose to be devoured by guilt – alone.

His chest tightened. It hurts. Suppression hurts. Yet he had to suppress his urge, to cradle her so tightly that he would damage her.

She slipped onto the bed, and pulled the blanket to her shoulders. "See you in my dreams. Hehe." She giggled. Then closed her eyes, and silence fell.

He had never been more thankful, for the fact that his back was facing her. He knows, if she had seen his reaction, it would definitely be the most shameful moment in his life.

He walked over to place his clothes beside hers. Well, to be exact, just his gloves and the shield he wears over his right shoulder.

She moved, readjusting her posture, and slipping her right hand under the pillow, a habit, from his observation. But something else drew his attention. The blanket left her uncovered up till her waist. And on her chest, between her heights, he saw something that he will never forget.

A pink line on her chest stretched till a little short of her belly button, he recalled. Slashed, by Sephiroth. He remembered seeing it that night under the highwind. She had tried to cover it up, but, well it was not possible. His fist clenched.

Mixed feelings. Never been so vivid.

He looked away, forcing away the memory of her laying unconscious in the Mako reactor, the memory of him kissing her light pinkish scar that night, Zack's scream, her moans, Sephiroth's blade drenched in blood, the pain he had inflicted upon her that night… He had sworn it would be the only time he would ever make her bleed.

Mixed feelings.

He willed the thoughts away and laid down beside her. Last night, the bed seemed bigger. Last night, he did not hear her breaths this clearly, or did he smell her shampoo this strongly. Last night, when they laid on this bed made for one, the occasional skin brushing did not burn.

He pulled the blanket all the way up to her neck. He went without.

Occasionally, his vision would be drawn, unknowingly, to her. Her hair, brows, eyes, nose, lips, ears… neck… blanket. Then back to the ceiling.

The cycle repeats, until he is finally sent away from reality.

"Cloud."

"Cloud" He felt a soft nudge from his side. His eyes flipped open and she was there, her face close to his.

"Sorry to wake you up. Dinner's ready. I wanted to let you sleep more but… Its almost seven. And I don't want to make the trip more dangerous than it already is."

"Its ok, Tifa. Thank you. I just… had a very pleasant dream."

She smiled, placed his clothing on the bed and headed downstairs.

The reason as to how Tifa always smell delicious will always be a mystery. He meant she smell like fruits. Like flower, like nature. Like Tifa.

He walked downstairs, and could smell her cooking. It was heavenly. He walked into the kitchen and saw her taking off her apron, after drying off the pots and pans she washed. She looked up and smiled at him. Set her apron aside, and walked into the dining room.

She pulled out a seat for him and sat beside him.

He stared at the food she prepared. Simple dishes. A spoonful of salad, two bite sized bruschetta, toasted French bread bacon sandwich.

"Appetizers?" He asked.

"Yeah." She smiled. "Thought it would be hard for you to eat dinner immediately after waking up."

The words set his heart ablaze. If she only knew what he dreamt of.

* * *

><p>Her arms are around his waist. To him, it's the part where his skin burns.<p>

Occasionally, she would lean on his back. He liked it. Quite a lot. Yet, he was afraid she could hear how fast his heart was beating. Was it what she said in the afternoon? Her feelings… her thoughts. It made him more self-conscious in front of her. Perhaps it is to make sure she will always have a positive image of him.

That is – important.

Around twenty minutes down the road, he could feel her silently yawning. She had woke up early that day, and took a shorter nap than he did. Somehow, he felt a weird tingly feeling in his heart. A woman strong, motherly and lively as Tifa was showing her weariness. Though trying to cover it up. The fact that it made her more human, more Tifa, touched him. She was unbelievably adorable.

"You can sleep if you want to." He hand her left hand with his left, leaving only his right on the bike.

To her, It sounded as if he's telling her not to worry, leave everything to him, for he will protect her. Well, at least, the warmth of his hand seems to say so.

"Are you tired?" She asked.

"No." he almost laughed. The way her hand wrapped around him, her body against his. He could never feel tired.

"Are we going to seventh heaven? Or are we going to where Marlene and Denzel is?"

"Midgar. We'll reach… at dawn. Then I'll go fetch Marlene and Denzel."

"hmm.." She frowned. She knew just how tiring it is to focus on the road for such long stretches of time. "how long will that take?"

"Around… six hours with the return trip."

Silence. He could feel her tightening around him. He could almost feel her worry through her. But more than that, he knows they both worry about the two children. They missed them.

* * *

><p>Promise I'll continue to upload regularly. Unless there are special reasons.<p>

Well, these few weeks I've been you know. BUSY. Squeezed dry. Seriously.

Mid term exams, then there's this seminar where I was chosen to attend for a whole week. Then went to donate blood and had to rest in bed for two days. But glad I could save lives. (1bag of blood = 3 lives)

tomorrow until Wed, I'll be facilitating this national New Media event, and basically. Just gotta write another chapter before I go off. So I hope I can update by tonight, or tomorrow morning.

Peace :)

Oh, and JC-zala, cloudlover2989, Iris Irine etc. Thanks for all the comments and I was really, glad to see JC-zala's encouraging comments when I checked my email. And I knew I had to continue Writing.

Right now, Its kinda like foreshadowing their relationships and stuff, so might be a lil boring. I had to you know, set their feelings for each other, what is their relationship like, before moving into the juicy bits right?

See you soon :)

If you want my email add. I think its on my page? I check it everyday so yeah.


	6. Chapter 5 Kisaragi

His bike stopped in front of seventh heaven. As predicted, the Sun had just risen, dying Midgar a deep orange.

"Have you got enough gil on you?"

"Yeah."

"Grab your breakfast on the way, alright? Or I can whip up something for you now."

"It's ok."

"Careful, ok?"

He nodded, turned over, and left.

The knob had been broken by brutal force. Probably inflicted by metal tools. She knew just who is here. For she had remembered, clearly, that she had left the door locked.

She walked into the living room, and just as she had thought, Yuffie was there.

"Yuffie?"

Yuffie's eyelids flipped open, with excessive force. And stood up, slightly wobbly. Yuffie's eyes were wide open.

"Whats wrong? You're trembling…" To her, Yuffie is family. A different type from Cloud, Denzel and Marlene, but family, nonetheless.

"Tifa. Trouble. Where is Cloud?" Yuffie scanned around the room.

"He went to fetch Denzel and Marlene, from Elmira's. Why? What's wrong?"

"A lot happened. I don't… Well, I don't know much anymore! Everything, and everyone th-"

"Calm down, start from where you know it."

"Tifa. It started off with Wutai receiving reports of sightings of dead people walking around."

"Dead people?"

"Technically yes. People who are recorded dead by the previous Shinra government was seen roaming around. At first they didn't seem like a threat, but then strange things were happening. Kids went missing, and there were even those rumors about them practicing alchemy using living humans and stuff. So Wutai sent in some people to investigate. A few at first, then more. They never came back." Tifa could see Yuffie tremble, though slight, but it was not common for Yuffie.

"So we contacted WRO. Though it was new, it had more knowledge about our world, and Shinra, at that. My father didn't want me to meddle with things so I had to leave home for good. I went to Vincent. Reeve had been in contact with him. The WRO knows much more than us. It was something Shinra did in the past. Vincent knew about it, but he never told me. Then just two days ago, he was sent on a mission or something. So I contacted Barret. I told him about these things over the phone, and we did our own research. He of course, worried about Marlene first. From what we know, recent months, areas outside Midgar had been strangely quiet. Especially the parts just short of Junon, and North Corel region. I think… It has got to do with Mako poisoning."

"Mako poisoning?" Tifa tilted her head and looked at Yuffie, confused.

"I… personally think that the food supply to these regions have been strategically tainted by the undead people… The weird thing is, a lot of people are disappearing. It's like they are spirited away. But only once in a while we find corpses. And…It's an unforgettable sight."

"And you need me in this?"

"Yes. We need you – and Cloud, too. We need to make sure Marlene and Denzel is safe, at the same thing. I think…we need you to do some spying. With me."

"You have a plan?"

"Well…not exactly. Vincent left, and Barret's off to get RED XIII, Cid, Cait Sith… You and I, will plan the spying."  
>"On the undead people? You know their base?"<p>

"A rough idea. This is a job only we can do. They'll be less suspicious if we are weak females."

"I'm in. But I need absolute confirmation about Denzel and Marlene's safety. Who can we depend on?"

"Reeve and the WRO. Cloud and Barret too. I would be more worried about myself. I think we got the hardest job. Haha."

She walked towards Yuffie and hugged her. To her, Yuffie is her younger sister. If they are in this together, then it is up to her to protect Yuffie.

"Will you be staying?" She walked upstairs, signaling Yuffie to follow suit. "We can have a girls' night."

"Sure! Teehee!" Yuffie raced after her, excited, as usual.

"Ney, Tifa. Isn't it boring to stay here and be like a housewife? We used to go through so many exciting adventures together. Nowadays you're just here tending your bar." Yuffie asked, arms thrown around her neck. Around Tifa, she liked to act like a little sister. Just to Tifa.

"…Sometimes, I would think about 'ifs'. If Cloud stayed home more, if I really had a family… If we were still traveling. But you know. Simple is a bliss too. And I think… I'm happy. With Marlene, Denzel. With Cloud."

"Tifa… Tifa… Teeeeeee~fahhhh…"

"Yes?" She smiled, while taking a spoonful of the soup she had been cooking, for a taste.

"If Cloud ever treat you badly, I'll punish him for you!"

"Yuffie… Just between you and me… I sometimes feel that he is so far away. Occasionally I'll feel that maybe I'm not needed in his world. His world, must be soooo big. Inside, there is Zack, Sephiroth, Aerith, Shinra, the world, his responsibilities. But mine… It's just him."

"But your world is big too isn't it? You have me, Denzel, Marlene, and the world-saving hero within you too! Isn't it the same for both of you? If you think in this direction. He has the same fears as you do!"

"Pfft!" She let out a loud chuckle. "Hahahaha…"

"What?"

"You sound so experienced."

* * *

><p>Hey. Updated. Short chapter I know. Any mistakes, tell me, its 12am lol. Need to sleep and wake up at 4am again to prepare for stuff.<p>

Ugh. Why did my school hold national events. Im so dying now?

Anyways. I had a lot of fun watching FFVII parodies and you know, chilling, drawing.

Tifa rocks.

Peace :)


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